Hello there

 Hello there, 

Well, it has been a while, hasn't it? I'm sorry for my absence here, and to those of you who have been checking in with care and loyalty. 

Life here on the farm has entered a different season in many ways, a wintering if you will. The farm is on hold while we build the extension, our goats have been dried up and are enjoying a rest for now, the chooks aren't laying due to winter, slugs have decimated my garden, the children are growing oh so quickly, and goodness I have been busy. Not a good busy - but more in a struggling, stumbling, deeply imperfect, trying not to drop all the balls busy. But I say this as I have just entered a period of being less busy for a spell, so here I am! 

Sweet Elsie, the boys are not fans of photos these days! 

This blog is named Barradale Farm, and on the farm front, there is little to write about at the moment. This has left me wondering how I can contribute to this space in a way that is relevant. We dream of good fencing and fat cattle grazing on our pasture, but this economy is bloody tough, and such expenses are out of our reach at this point in time. We are scrimping and saving to work on our extension, as the children are growing up and need some privacy and space. We have made some good progress on the extension, but it is slow. We are constantly short on cash and our machines, generator, and cars are old and often in need of repair.

When I started blogging all those years ago at "A Simple Living Journey", I was mostly a full-time stay-at-home mother. I did study part-time and work part-time in chaplaincy at one point, but the blog was a way of recording our lives, for keeping in contact with others who were also trying to live simply. Now, online communities have undergone significant changes. Many people are drawn to the shorthand, picture-perfect platform of Instagram or, more recently, Substack, which is more like blogging was back in the day. 

My life has also changed considerably since then, and it is always hard to articulate such changes in the written word. But perhaps it is time I give it a crack. 

A new to us wood oven. It's a much better design, draws better and burns more efficiently.

Firstly, I want to start off by reassuring you that Grant, the children and I are great. Times might be tough, but it is the season of life we are in, and due to the life choices we have made, things were never going to be easy. The reality is that many of us are struggling in this difficult economy. We are luckier than many as we have affordable and secure housing and nourishing food on the table, which is a tremendous blessing. This is something we do not take for granted.  

If you have no interest in Christianity, you might like to scroll through the next part till the end, as I cannot exist here for much longer without sharing the broader picture of the journey I am on. My life does not exist in separate containers, just as I am sure yours doesn't. I decided to share here in a different way today, it is faith-heavy, and I understand that's not everyone's cup of tea. But as a woman in ministry in the online world (however small my presence might be), it feels inauthentic to keep these two parts of my life separate. I have hesitated sharing here as being a woman in ministry remains a controversial theological issue for many people, and as with many controversial things online, there are usually a group of people who feel the need to react in cruel and spiteful ways. Frankly, I can't be bothered delving into such conversations in the online sphere, so I generally avoid them, and I avoid triggering them. But then I found every time I sat to share here, the words wouldn't come.  So here we are. It's an unusual post today, but don't worry, there are still plenty of the usual family/farm/progress updates in the future. 

The truth is, the online homesteading movement, or the corner I seem to dwell in, is largely complementarian Christian women blogging and sharing their lives. Now I enjoy many of these accounts, and I see much beauty and wisdom in their stories. Over the years, I have been on my own faith journey. I started egalitarian (meaning believing God calls both men and women equally to serve in all levels and expressions of the church), and for a brief period, I questioned if this was the way I should be living out my own faith and explored complementarianism. Grant did not have any expectations in this; he simply encouraged me to work out my own path and where I felt God was calling me to. So I read, I studied, and I prayed. A lot. And over time, I felt myself growing further away from God than I ever had before. I felt like my spirit was suffocating. I soon came to realise I was on the entirely wrong path.

Tucker and Maisie on the deck. 

So where did I end up? I believe we are built to know God. That the yearning which exists in our hearts for something more in life, for meaning and belonging, is a God shaped hole. Many of us search to fill it through various means of spiritual exploration. I land firmly in Christianity, but I have a great respect for people of all faiths, and also for those who hold no faith. Ultimately, I believe we are all beloved children of God, and God calls us to love one another fully, wholly and without exception. However, I do talk from a christian standpoint as this is my context and lens through which I view and live out my own faith and life. 

I believe that as humans, we are an incredibly diverse group of people, and in this diversity lies tremendous beauty. When we look at the natural world, we see God's creation, and it is breathtaking. Humans are a part of God's creation (though we often mess it up and do dreadful, even horrendous things as we are given free will), and we are each called to live out our faith differently according to our gifts, natures and callings. For some, they believe God is calling them to a complementarian way of life and that is right and good for them. In the bible, we see a huge range of diversity in how people live out their christian lives within the ancient world.

Many of these stories in the bible come from male leaders, but what I cannot escape is that it is not all of God's story. There are many stories of amazing women in the bible. Often, these stories are not highlighted in the same way, but if you dig into the history and culture of the times, these stories are really important. There were women who led in both the Old and the New Testament. Women shared the message of Jesus, who ministered, who were called by God and who stepped up. And these stories happened within a patriarchal structure. 

Now these days, the word patriarchy is a loaded, so bear with me on this. I am not attaching moral value to the word. Instead, I am using it in a very practical and pragmatic fashion. Ancient culture in the time and within the context of the bible was established and led largely by men. Much of this culture was also shaped by honour/shame, client/patron and the private/public arena, and it was possible, though not overly common, for women to be in positions of leadership. However, it is very important to note that these things are not understood in the same way today as they were then, so historical context matters a lot. This is where studying ancient history, Greek/Hebrew and applying thorough exegesis to the scriptures is essential to understand what was being said to a particular community, within a certain context at a very specific point in history. I have been doing this work for years now, guided by excellent professors and lecturers at bible college, as well as through reflections with my ministers. I continue to read from, appreciate and enjoy a diversity of theologians, catholic/protestant/old/new/conservative/liberal, and I have favourite authors and books from all theological backgrounds. 

But through it all, I have come to view scripture through a firmly egalitarian lens. In my eyes, to do anything else is to not acknowledge the depth and the breadth of the stories in the bible and how God calls people to live out their faith. That is not to say I believe complementarianism is inherently wrong, because I don't. If a couple has prayed, read the bible and believes in their heart of hearts that that is the way that God is calling them to live out their faith within their marriage, then excellent. I hope and pray that it is a blessed and fruitful journey for them because great diversity does and should exist within God's story. We see this diversity within unity expressed in the Holy Trinity. 

The new extension with its roof finally during a frosty winter morning.

There is a point to this theological reflection (however brief it may be, given the complexities I have touched upon) All of this is to say that through the encouragement, discernment and affirmation of my current and previous ministers (predominantly men for those interested), I have been in a period of discernment for ordination into the priesthood to the Anglican Church of Australia. That period has finished, and after a rigorous process, I am now in formation. This means I am in training to become an Anglican priest. This is why I have been so quiet these last few months. It is not a simple process and I will likely be in formation for the next 2-3 years. It has been wonderful, exciting, challenging and downright exhausting at times. All while juggling work, half-time theological study, building an extension, and juggling family life with Grant and our 4 children. Grant and I do not know exactly how this calling will be outworked in our lives, but we trust all will be well. I have Grant's full support and encouragement on this path, he is really happy for me and for us. For now, nothing changes. We remain living on our property and working just as we have been. Who knows, perhaps one day some of the children will want to build their own homes here, and the farm will become a multi-generational property. 

If you have got this far, thanks! All of this is a rather long-winded and somewhat complex way of explaining my absence from this blog. I felt the need to speak in some depth due to the controversy around women in positions of leadership in some corners of the church. These conversations are growing louder at the moment as much of the world shifts to a more conservative position. Sadly, these conversations online are also often filled with spite and nastiness, which is incredibly disappointing to witness.  

But I also wanted to share that I plan to continue here, however and whenever I can. There will likely be periods of absence and periods of presence depending on what is happening in our lives. Life is not as simple as it once was, but we continue to strive to live a simple, down-to-earth life as a family, the best we can. I imagine that as the extension comes along, there will be photos and progress to share, and both Grant and I dream of a time when we can develop the farm side of things once again. I am sure my next post will be more of a light-hearted, general catch-up you are used to! But I hope this finds you well. 

Much love and blessings, 
Emma

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common ground and an ever evolving garden

I have been deeply touched and encouraged by the number of people who have taken the time to comment, message, share, and like my last post. You have shared with me a snippet of your own lives, struggles, and journeys, and that means a lot. The response has taken me by surprise. It made me wonder why what I wrote touched something in you that compelled you to reach out. I suspect together, we found a kind of common ground in our struggles, hopes, and dreams. We are each trying to find our own unique path to create a life that resonates in our souls. Perhaps we discovered a kind of solidarity. And that for me, is something worth continuing to write for. So let's keep meeting here, shall we? 

I didn't grow up with much of a garden. I remember as a very small child there was a veggie patch at one house we lived at, but generally, we had a lawn, a few hardy shrubs, and a few roses—pleasant and low-maintenance. 

As an adult, I have found myself drawn to pretty gardens, abundant with blooms, trickling water and shade, which is especially appealing in our hot Australian summers. But gardening in the subtropics has been a steep learning curve for me, and it is one I have far from mastered. My garden has a tendency to escape me, before requiring a big clear out. Then, I'll track along nicely for a while before the cycle repeats itself. I suspect this is because I am drawn to cottage gardens, with a large number of perennials and annuals, which are often not low maintenance. I have discovered many of the perennials I am drawn to act more like annuals here; I am unsure why. Time-wise, I need a garden that can handle a bit of neglect without it turning its toes up on me. I also need the plantings to be dense enough that they inhibit some of the crazy weed growth we have over the summer. 

The two garden beds my MIL helped to plan and plant out. 

The end of the semester led to one of those times, and my garden had become an overgrown, wild, weedy, ugly mess. The goats took advantage of my absence by learning to break in and demolish anything that took their fancy. No agapanthus flowers for me this year! Apparently, they are particularly tasty to goats. 

It was disheartening. 

Thankfully, Grant got in there and did the bulk of the heavy clearing out to encourage me to feel inspired again. But knowing I have work and study to juggle for the foreseeable future, I need to adapt the way I garden. My in-laws came down recently, and my MIL is an avid gardener who understands the tension of maintaining a large garden with time constraints. With her help, we chose hardy, pretty flowering shrubs, trying to use height to create layers and different-coloured blooms to get the cottage look I love. She was a huge help in laying them out, and together, we tackled two big beds, which will look lovely once established. There are purple bundaleas against the yurt, pink geraniums, roses, gardenias, native bush basil, some strappy flowering things and a few other bits and bobs. It's all had a good mulch, the paths raked and now I feel inspired to continue to freshen up the other beds. 

There is still a veggie garden, though there is not much in it at the moment. I will replant that once the harshest part of summer is past. We are past the summer solstice, so it won't be long. It is not uncommon in various parts of Australia that people will give veggie gardening a rest in the middle of summer when the insect/fungal load is at its highest. Our sun can get extremely harsh, and it can be hard to get out there and spend the time it takes to keep a productive veggie garden going. Due to the heat, it can require a lot of water, and if it's rainy, we then struggle with mildew and fungal issues. Our creeks here have dropped to a trickle, though we still have one sound water hole. 

A shady little garden Elsie likes to play in. There is her cubby, a big tub for water play,  a sand pit, and a fairy garden here. Her clever grandmother runs a pottery classes in SA, and whipped her up some pottery fairy houses. 

For me, gardening is evolving into more of a contemplative practice to help maintain good mental and spiritual health rather than trying to provide an abundance of food.  I have a level of guilt over this, as a "good homesteader" would have a wonderfully productive garden. But the truth is, I feel a much deeper sense of joy from seeing the colourful blooms, with bees and butterflies hovering amongst them, watching tiny wrens darting in and out, and the old kookaburra sitting on the fence in the evening.  This, along with the sound of the trickling fountain and the chorus of frogs, fills my heart with a peace like no other. It is in the garden I feel deeply connected to God, and where God's peace fills my heart and sustains me. And perhaps seeking such peace in challenging global and economic times is not such a bad thing. Perhaps those of us who have the privilege of doing so should seek peace wherever we can, so we can help others discover peace in their lives through whatever means resonates with them. For, we are all created differently, and it is a tremendous blessing whenever we can find alignment with what we are doing to who we are in our souls. 

Much love and blessings, 

Emma xx

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Well hello there! 2025

Well, hello there! I hope you have had a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

 

I must have started at least half a dozen posts since I last updated you here, but I didn't manage to finish any of them. I guess my heart was not quite in it. I feel like in many ways, our life here is not what we imagined when we moved here 6 years ago. We had hoped that by now, we would be beginning to consider building our home on the north-facing hill, that we would have basic boundary fencing up, and that we would be well on our way with livestock. 

However, as many of you well know and have experienced for yourselves, the last 5 or 6 years have not been easy in this economy. The cost of everything has gone through the roof and in turn our progress has been painfully slow. 

18 months ago, I felt the pull to finish up my theology study, which I started years ago before I became chronically unwell with a heart condition. Thankfully, I am well now, and I have gone on to do a full Bachelor of Theology. I have 11 subjects left and am studying half-time. I am also working part-time as a lay minister in the Anglican church with children and families. It is a wonderful job, which I love, and I work with the very best people. 

This has, however, been a big adjustment for our family. It's a significant increase in travel and time spent off the farm, and it takes up a huge amount of my week. Financially, although the pay for a lay minister is very modest, it does help to cover the ever-increasing bills. However there is always a cost in working, too. Petrol and childcare are significant expenses. I am not entirely sure what this will look like in 2025, how big a study load I will juggle or what subjects I will do. There seem to be two pathways regarding work and study appearing, and I am contemplating which one I am called to be on. 

The pressure of travel has not been easy, and at times, we have questioned whether it is wise to stay on the farm. The world feels so different now than it did six years ago—harder. We have, at times, felt less hope that we will ever be able to get this place up and running properly. As such, we have questioned if it is worth investing the kind of money and time it will require. Our children are only young once, after all. 

But as I watch our dairy goats snooze in the afternoon sun, hear the cackle of the chooks, and see the fairy-wrens darting around the bushes, we continue to hold to our dream. Though it is perhaps a little more battered these days and it has changed over the years. It has simplified. There is no end date nor percentage of our own food we hope to grow and preserve. The reality is Grant works full-time off-farm and I, too, work a significant amount of time off-farm now. Caring for a family of 6 is a big job in itself. Our goal is simply to live well, grow and raise some of our own food, to enjoy our family and live within our means. 

We have recently started the extension on the yurt. To see the deck come together has injected a spirit of hope and excitement once again into our hearts. Friends and family have come to lend a hand, and their help and encouragement means a lot. There is a few more hours of work to do, and then we will be able to lay the yellow tongue flooring and the first stage of the build will be complete.  

There is a gap between the new deck and the build, but don't worry. They will be joined by stairs going down to the garden and a landing, which will double as a small outdoor sitting nook. 

The children are doing well, William is driving now, he has bought himself a project car which he is enjoying a lot, and he is entering year 12 this year. Angus is entering year 8, learning guitar and has a lovely group of friends, Henry is in his final year of primary school doing year 6 and is as funny and interesting as ever, and sweet little Elsie continues in her family daycare. She is 5 in February - oh, how time flies!  She will go to big school in 2026. 

Though there is more to share, I might leave that for another time. I am not even sure anyone will find this post as it has been so long between updates! Like many things, this blog seems to be in a transition period aswell, and I have wondered what I should do with this space. To continue? To let it go? To let it evolve into something new? 

Perhaps that, too, will become clear in time. 

Much love and blessings to you and yours. 

- Em xx

38

reducing social media use

In the Christian tradition as we come into the period of easter many denominations observe the period of LENT. I usually don't manage to observe lent, well not strictly. There are times I have given up certain items like sugar, but to be completely honest, I never manage to last the full 40 days....because well...chocolate exists and it is good. 

But this year after a period of prayer and contemplation, I am reducing social media use by deactivating Facebook, though I still have Messenger. I have increasingly found social media to be a black hole of wasted time. Time I want, need and desire to spend on other things. The reasons I am on there are valid and good. I love to see photos of friends and family and hear about what they have been up to. Facebook marketplace is an excellent resource for sourcing second-hand items and Facebook helps me keep up to date with upcoming local events. But it is also full of clickbait, trashy stories, people arguing and needless advertising. When I am stressed or tired I find myself turning to scrolling rather than reading a book, making time for quiet prayer, or going into the garden. I will, however, continue to blog as it is a form of creating and writing is something I find great value in. I won't be uploading blog posts and reminders to social media though. I'll be going old school and relying on readers to check in if and when they remember. 

For me, social media has simply become a bad habit. I wonder if anyone else feels the same? 

It seems many of us struggle with the balance of technology, so much so the technology itself is now being built with alarms and reminders we can set to help us monitor our usage however. I am not particularly convinced about their helpfulness as it doesn't serve giant tech companies' bottom line to keep us offline. 

If we do a quick Google search there are plenty of studies like THIS that are available to read which link to an increase in generalised anxiety which coincides with high levels of social media use. We also know it leads to increased dissatisfaction in the way we feel about our life as we are bombarded by constant advertising of beautiful/fun/interesting things to buy, see and do designed to lure us away from what we have right in front of us. For me, social media has become a mostly unsatisfactory experience. Thankfully it is an experience that lies entirely within my control, which is why I’m focusing on reducing social media use for Lent. Time will tell if it’s a practise that extends beyond that. 

When I look at previous generations, the struggles and distractions we face in the modern world are so very different. I'm deeply thankful for instant communication with those I love, and the wealth of information available at my fingertips. But the flip side is we need to learn new skills that allow us to resist the temptation of mindless scrolling. People in the past naturally had periods of quiet built into their days. Once phones and televisions came into the landscape, they had wires, there were few channels and it wasn't as portable as it is now. I can't help but wonder if the lack of quiet in our lives is adding to the generalised anxiety many of us experience. 

Those who have been reading along for a while might know that I have a history of chronic pericarditis. Recently my heart was playing up a little and I was struggling with dizziness and palpitations. After investigation and a trip to the cardiologist, I was given medication to take as needed, and he recommended I get a smartwatch with ECG functionality and alarms. After years of avoiding a smartwatch, I have conceded defeat. I am hoping It will not add to the cyber distraction from which I am trying to escape. But my cardiologist said he gets at least one person weekly whose smartwatch has picked up AF, prompting them to seek advice and allowing them to receive early treatment. Thankfully my parents generously gifted me one, as there is no room for such an item in our budget. I feel it is ironic timing given my desire to escape technology. Ha! 

So throughout this period of Lent, I am hoping to increase the time I spend in prayer and contemplation. In writing in my journal, blogging, reflecting on scripture, gardening (when it's cool enough), spending time in creation, and re-establishing good household routines that serve our family well. 

Much love,

Emma 

xx

Edit: Here is a useful link of practical ideas on how to reduce mindless scrolling from Zen Habits.

  

 

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