Hello there

Hello there, 
Well, it has been a while, hasn't it? I'm sorry for my absence here, and to those of you who have been checking in with care and loyalty. 

Life here on the farm has entered a different season in many ways, a wintering if you will. The farm is on hold while we build the extension, our goats have been dried up and are enjoying a rest for now, the chooks aren't laying due to winter, slugs have decimated my garden, the children are growing oh so quickly, and goodness I have been busy. Not a good busy - but more in a struggling, stumbling, deeply imperfect, trying not to drop all the balls busy. But I say this as I have just entered a period of being less busy for a spell, so here I am! 

Sweet Elsie, the boys are not fans of photos these days! 

This blog is named Barradale Farm, and on the farm front, there is little to write about at the moment. This has left me wondering how I can contribute to this space in a way that is relevant. We dream of good fencing and fat cattle grazing on our pasture, but this economy is bloody tough, and such expenses are out of our reach at this point in time. We are scrimping and saving to work on our extension, as the children are growing up and need some privacy and space. We have made some good progress on the extension, but it is slow. We are constantly short on cash and our machines, generator, and cars are old and often in need of repair.

When I started blogging all those years ago at "A Simple Living Journey", I was mostly a full-time stay-at-home mother. I did study part-time and work part-time in chaplaincy at one point, but the blog was a way of recording our lives, for keeping in contact with others who were also trying to live simply. Now, online communities have undergone significant changes. Many people are drawn to the shorthand, picture-perfect platform of Instagram or, more recently, Substack, which is more like blogging was back in the day. 

A new to us wood oven. It's a much better design, draws better and burns more efficiently.

My life has also changed considerably since then, and it is always hard to articulate such changes in the written word. But perhaps it is time I give it a crack. 

Firstly, I want to start off by reassuring you that Grant, the children and I are great. Times might be tough, but it is the season of life we are in, and due to the life choices we have made, things were never going to be easy. The reality is that many of us are struggling in this difficult economy. We are luckier than many as we have affordable and secure housing and nourishing food on the table, which is a tremendous blessing, and something we don't take for granted.  

If you have no interest in Christianity, you may want to scroll through the next part till the end, as I cannot really continue here much longer without sharing the broader picture of the journey I am on. My life does not exist in separate containers, just as I am sure yours doesn’t. I decided to share differently today. It is faith-heavy, and I understand that is not everyone’s cup of tea. But as a woman in ministry in the online world (however small my presence might be), it has begun to feel inauthentic to keep these parts of my life separate.

Tucker and Maisie on the deck. 

I have hesitated sharing here because being a woman in ministry remains controversial in some Christian circles, and as with many controversial things online, there are often people who feel the need to react in cruel and spiteful ways. Frankly, I cannot be bothered delving into those conversations online, so I generally avoid them altogether. But over time, I found that every time I sat down to share here, the words simply would not come. So here we are.

The truth is, the online homesteading movement, or at least the corner I seem to dwell in, is largely made up of complementarian Christian women blogging and sharing their lives. I genuinely enjoy many of these accounts, and I see much beauty, wisdom, and goodness in their stories. But over the years, I have also been on my own faith journey. I have long held a firmly egalitarian view of faith, believing that God calls both men and women equally into all levels and expressions of the church. Yet for a brief period, I questioned whether I was wrong. I wondered whether complementarianism was perhaps the more faithful path for me, and whether this was how I should be living out my own faith. Grant never had expectations around any of this. He simply encouraged me to discern honestly where I felt God was calling me. So I read, and studied, and prayed. A lot.

And slowly, over time, I felt myself growing further away from God than I ever had before. It felt as though something deep within me was being crushed down and silenced. Like my spirit was suffocating. The more I tried to force myself into a version of faith that did not align with who I believe God created me to be, the more distant God seemed to feel. I soon came to realise I was entirely on the wrong path.

What I have ultimately come to believe is that we are built to know God. That the yearning which exists in our hearts for something more - for meaning, belonging, transcendence - is a God-shaped hole. Although I land firmly within Christianity, I have deep respect for people of all faiths, and also for those who hold none at all. Ultimately, I believe we are all beloved children of God, called to love one another fully, wholly, and without exception.

I also believe humanity is extraordinarily diverse, and that within this diversity lies tremendous beauty. Scripture itself reflects this. There are stories of women who led, ministered, prophesied, taught, and carried the message of God despite existing within deeply patriarchal cultures.

Over the years, through theological study, prayer, discernment, guidance from ministers, and learning from a wide range of theologians and traditions, my egalitarian convictions have only deepened. I no longer carry uncertainty around where I stand theologically. But that certainty has also taught me that people live out their faith differently, according to their own callings, convictions, gifts, and consciences. While complementarianism is not a theological position I personally hold, I still believe there are many faithful Christian people living sincerely and fruitfully within that framework.

The new extension with its roof finally during a frosty winter morning.

And through all of this discernment, study, prayer, encouragement, and affirmation from both current and previous ministers, I have also been walking another path quietly in the background and I have now entered formation for ordination into the priesthood within the Anglican Church of Australia. In simple terms, I am training to become an Anglican priest. This is why I have been quieter here these last few months. Formation is a beautiful but challenging journey which is stretching, deeply meaningful, and at times downright exhausting. All while juggling work, half-time theological study, building our farm and family life with Grant and our four children. 

We do not entirely know yet how this calling will unfold within our lives, but we trust that all will be well. I have Grant’s full support and encouragement on this path, and for now nothing really changes. We remain here on our property, living much as we always have - building, parenting, working, dreaming, and trying to live a grounded and simple life together. Moving forward, there will still be farm updates, house progress photos, and ordinary family life shared here, too, as time and energy allow.  

Much love and blessings, 
Emma